Live in the now, man!

Yeah, I know I should "live in the presence" but when this presence is so confusing, how can I not think about the future?

If I don't think about it, I feel like I am wasting precious time to figure out what's best for me.

I don't belong where I am right now. I just know it. There is something out there for me, and I can't lose sight of what it is.

Sorry...

I will take your advice into consideration. I will "live in the presence" and "bloom where I'm planted." Just know, there will always be a part of me, that is thinking about my future.

I'm stubborn as hell...

-A.M.

When bad habits arise...

I have an extremely bad habit that started around 7th grade. I believe there are millions of you who suffer from what I'm talking about. (Probably more than there ever has been before).

Comparing yourself to people.

This has been a problem for me ever since I can remember. It all started when I walked into my first dance convention. I was 11 years old, and had just started getting serious about dance. As soon as the first class started, I looked around and realized, "all these people are better than me." And right as that thought popped into my head, I immediately felt vulnerable, like everyone was staring at me, and talking about how bad I was at. Therefore, since I thought I was bad at dance, I started acting like I was. I was getting the moves wrong, and stumbling all over the place. From that day on, that's all I could think about. I would be walking down the hallway of my school and thinking things like, "She's prettier than me" or "I wish I was as skinny as her." Isn't this all just so sad and pathetic?? I mean, at least I realize it, but I cannot stop doing it.

Even today after having success and feeling good about myself in high school and my first year of college, I still have times where I will compare myself to someone, and from then on I feel like the worst person on the planet. I really need to stop. Maybe say that thing from The Help to myself a couple of times. "I am kind. I am smart. I am important." I feel that everyone is important. Everyone brings something to the table. Yet, what the hell happened to make us all start comparing ourselves to people? Why can't we just feel comfortable in our own skin? I used to think I was fine with myself, but it seems that as I grow older, I just keep discovering new things to compare to other people.

Ah, what a tangled web we weave...

From generation to generation...

I have a question. Why are teenagers acting so grown up already? When I was in my teens, I was ridiculous! I was cracking jokes, eating candy, laughing so hard I would cry, and being way too immature.

I look at the generations that are following up behind mine, and all I can think is "wow..." I see these young people saying "I love you" to their high school boyfriends, and girls spending way too much time on their make up and appearance. To tell you the truth, it worries me. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to worry about how you look, but if that's all you spend your time on, then that's a little sad.

What ever happened to the phrase 'young at heart'? That's definitely what I am. I still watch Spongebob for pete's sake. What I think is the most embarrassing thing is that these teenagers are so proud of their stupidity. Do they think it's hip to purposely post pictures of themselves drinking and smoking at a party, when all of that stuff is clearly illegal for people their age?

I'm not saying it's wrong to have fun and go hog wild, but be a little more private about it. You don't know what can make its way to someone of authority.

P.s. These are just my thoughts. They aren't for anyone specific. Just those who are addressed in my first post. Remember, you aren't alone.

I have always wanted to do this...

so, here we go!

My name is Anna, and I can't seem to stop going through changes. I know that it's natural, but I also know what I'm feeling has been felt by millions of people worldwide. Complete and utter confusion, terror, and an inescapable sense of being extremely lost. What do I mean? I mean the feeling that comes up from the bowels of hell once you start asking yourself questions like, "What am I supposed to do with my life?", "Am I making the right choices for myself?", "Will I ever find love?", "Why can't I get a job?", "Why am I spending less time being social, and more time sitting at home, eating bowl after bowl of cereal, and watching re-runs of 30 Rock?!" Yeah, I know that feeling. And it blows.

Some of the reasons I have decided to start this blog:

1) To complain to the world wide interscholastic web! Afterall, isnt that what the internet is for?

2) To help myself. I feel like writing everything out will help me sort through my thoughts, and get me started in the right direction.

3) And most importantly, to let you (the person that feels like me... the person who knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about) know that you're not alone. You are not alone.

We can all help each other. And I think we might be surprised how much we can get done, and how much of an impact we really can have on our own little confused lives.

-A.K.