Comparing yourself to people.
This has been a problem for me ever since I can remember. It all started when I walked into my first dance convention. I was 11 years old, and had just started getting serious about dance. As soon as the first class started, I looked around and realized, "all these people are better than me." And right as that thought popped into my head, I immediately felt vulnerable, like everyone was staring at me, and talking about how bad I was at. Therefore, since I thought I was bad at dance, I started acting like I was. I was getting the moves wrong, and stumbling all over the place. From that day on, that's all I could think about. I would be walking down the hallway of my school and thinking things like, "She's prettier than me" or "I wish I was as skinny as her." Isn't this all just so sad and pathetic?? I mean, at least I realize it, but I cannot stop doing it.
Even today after having success and feeling good about myself in high school and my first year of college, I still have times where I will compare myself to someone, and from then on I feel like the worst person on the planet. I really need to stop. Maybe say that thing from The Help to myself a couple of times. "I am kind. I am smart. I am important." I feel that everyone is important. Everyone brings something to the table. Yet, what the hell happened to make us all start comparing ourselves to people? Why can't we just feel comfortable in our own skin? I used to think I was fine with myself, but it seems that as I grow older, I just keep discovering new things to compare to other people.
Ah, what a tangled web we weave...
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