You think your finally doing something right in your life then BAM you have left someone behind that is utterly and irrevocably disappointed in you... It makes me feel guilty. I can't, for the life of me, get out of this funk. Either I don't have enough friends, I'm becoming a grandma that thinks she has to go to bed for 9 hours every night, or people are dropping me as their friend left and right. Is this growing up? Seriously? It sucks.
...I have a plan... I want to travel the world and leave all of this behind. Meet new people who have no idea what I'm like, and surprise them when I tell my first funny joke, or give someone a compliment that will make them love me forever.
I'm tired of disappointing people. But life isn't fair is it? No, life has to give you crap for every good thing you do. It's only the people who are rich and successful at an early age, who can live their fantasy life. The rest of us, have to pay our due process. We have to survive this twisted journey, before we end up on top. And even then... we still might leave someone behind. It's impossible for us not to.
I'm not usually this depressing of a person, but when I get a feeling like this, I find the best way to get rid of it, is to write it down, or talk to someone about it. This is the best of both worlds. Again, I write this blog in hopes that there are people just like me, out there. Who feel exactly like I feel, and who are going through the same things that I am going through. I have no intentions of hurting feelings, shoving my beliefs down your throat, or asking for money to help me in my "terrible" life. To tell you the truth, my life is actually wonderful. I'm not in the right place right now, but that's my own fault, and I'm working my way out.
I sometimes forget how truly lucky I am. I have an amazing family, incredible friends, and the most beautiful world surrounding me. There is beauty to be found, and I'm out to find it.
-Anna Kathryn
1 comment:
I heart you, Anna!
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